July 19th Day of Grand Theft Auto

There were some freak storm effects yesterday at the hospital. I was in the IV room when the lights went off. That room turned dark so fast. Luckily, no one was hurt by any of the materials in the room by sudden vision loss. W and I took a step out the doors to check out the sky. It was one of those half blue & white half dark blue skies. There weren't any rain drops, but the power flickered for a bit.

On Tuesday, there was a huge lightning strike right outside of the ER entrance that resonated through the building while W and I were attempting to get on an elevator. It sounded like the cart ripped off of its wires and was falling to the ground hitting the floor segments all the way.

R gifted me Saint's Row 3 last night so we could play co-op. Thanks, R! We had so much fun driving around the city in-game and causing so much trouble! It has been a while since I played the Grand Theft Auto series that I have forgotten how much fun it is to just drive, drift, and out run the enemies. I am kicking myself for not purchasing the entire GTA publisher pack on Summer Steam Sale the other day when it was offered.

As I wrote the last paragraph, I opened a new tab and checked Today's Deals and RIGHT THERE! was a Rockstar Games pack. It was listing Max Payne 3 and GTAIV. I went into the Rockstar profile and discovered the entire series was still discounted. I just purchased Grand Theft Auto, Grand Theft Auto 2, Grand Theft Auto III, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and Grand Theft Auto: Episodes from Liberty City for 24$! You have no idea, reader, how excited I am about this!

July 17th

Another defining moment in history: the week of The Dark Knight Rises.

The long-awaited finale to Christopher Nolan's modern take on Batman.

I'm hoping that Friday's showings are completely full, that the movie completely dominates the expectations, and that not a single thing is revealed on the internet. Fat chance. Therefore, beginning on Thursday, I will NOT be allowed on the internet until I've seen the movie. Redditors have already been warned that MSNBC and Google News were posting spoilers yesterday. When I post about the film later this weekend, I will make damn sure I don't ruin it for any of you readers.

I was on the Acudose maintenance this morning, which went smoothly, and I received more help than usual in taking care of the inventory. New technicians, that are trained well, are extremely essential when it comes to running the pharmacy. I wish that all of the technicians cared about their actual job more than what they have been showing. Most are so wrapped in the health benefits that they have lost sight of the real purpose of the job.

Vandy update:

As I continue to maintain my patience, they continue to work on the hurdles required in the corporate hiring process. Today saw no change, aside from a new day for contact. I'll keep you posted.

The project/present that I've been working on for K is taking a bit longer than I expected to. With that in mind, the best things are always done with lots of time and thought spent on them. The impact this will have when it is revealed will be completely worth it. It is so AWESOME!

July 12

Some people follow the superstition about tomorrow. Friday 13th.

I have always felt the day is just a day. I have never felt anything negative associated with it.

We finally have the new machine put together at work. I was supposed to be trained by the manufacturer engineers while they were here for the set-up. That did not happen. My coworker was sit. I was the only technician in the hospital working on IVs. If we had a larger daily staff, I would have been able to focus solely on learning the machine. Instead, I became over an hour behind in the daily schedule before all of the other random requirements also overwhelmed me.

Needless to say, I was able to visually train with one run-through of the process. Funny the other believes herself to be the most knowledgeable but had to be told step-by-step, slowly, a few times in order to complete the order.

Anyway, Steam Summer Sale began this day. Several company packs are on sale with almost their entire line of games. I'd love to be able to collect each of the packs and play through their games. If only we had the time and money available to truly immerse ourselves in every thing we love to do.

Last night, the Telemetry Control let us know that all of the heart monitor batteries were up for grabs. Did you know that? They can only use the batteries once per patient. Need any AA's?

This evening, I ran through the electronic album "2000 And Space - The Mission Continues Vol. 1 CD1".

There are some really great dub influenced tracks, as well as, some dance able ones. Great album for a day like today.   

July 10th

These kind of nights are best.

They take forever to get through. Time passes extremely slow, but you completely enjoy every ticking second.

After a long day of maintaining the medication dispensers at the hospital, I picked up some much needed yummies at the grocery. What followed were hours of Battlefield 3, lots and lots of Reddit, and some research.

Don't you love how you can just jump from one subject to the next. You start reading and learning about a subject and some particular item within that article creates an entire string of new tabs in your browser.

I became even more excited after reading a few new updates on The Dark Knight Rises. July 20th!

I got stuck in a string of Wiki's following through The Matrix inspirations from the philosophy book, Simulacra and Simulation, and the movie's soundtrack featuring Deftones (which caused me to open iTunes and play Saturday Night Wrist).

I also found the trailer for the film based on this amazing BBC miniseries called The Trip. Looks hilarious.

Earlier this afternoon, I came across this video of a man stopped at several checkpoints in the US and simply tells the officers "no" when asked to show his ID as proof of citizenship. Brilliant.

Let me know what you think below or on FB.

July 9th

I've spent the weekend in excitement.

Today is the day.

I find out if I've been granted a start date at a new job.

The manager has offered me the position. Every one that I interacted with during the interview process enjoyed me, my questions, and my thoughtful musings during the tour of their facility.

I had to wait one week to find out. Seven days. 7.

She offers me the job. Tells me that at this time it will be unofficial. That, for some reason, Human Resources has held a few of the positions up with mine included.

So goes the corporate way of things. Paper stacks. Forms. Red Tape. Long waiting.

Anyway, today was the end of the second waiting period. I've been offered the job, the start date has been put on hold, and today I find out if they have released the hold on the position.

No.

They have not.

The waiting continues. My patience is still strong.

This afternoon, I spent the majority of it mentally wandering with Ms. K.

What a wonderful young woman. I recently began a project that is going to culminate in a surprise present for her, one which she knows she is getting but not the content of the gift, which will blow her mind. It incorporates several of my talents, those of which include but are not limited by: internet magic, planning, efficiency, organization, a little bit of art, and a ton of love.

I end tonight with a helping of music and a bit of gaming.

Bendy Straws.

She's such an amazing and beautiful creature. She holds the straw to her face and tries to stretch the bendy part. " Aww! It is already stretched." She pushes the little creases back into place so she can make the noise when the straw is extended.

This girl. It is the little things.

Vietnam Vet Story from Reddit

[–]neon_starshine

 497 points 4 days ago (+604|-105)

Well, since everyone else is sharing their stories, I suppose it's no harm if I share mine.

My dad was a door gunner in Vietnam. For that job you had to be, as he put it, "Crazy enough to do it, but smart enough to not fuck up." He's never talked about it with me, and everything I know is from eavesdropping or second-hand. He'd pull out his photo album from the war and tell his friends all sorts of stories, but he'd never look at me while doing it. That really hit me recently. He finally went to counseling for vets, and he's a lot more willing to talk about his experiences now. The last time I saw him (he lives in Hawaii and I live on the mainland, so we've only seen each other a handful of times over the past 8 years) he told my husband all sorts of stories, even some really gory stuff, and he did this while I was sitting right next to my husband, but not once did my dad look at me while talking about Vietnam. As soon as the subject changed, or even during a long pause, he'd look at me again. It was very strange how he switched like that.

He's always told me he was drafted, but my aunt, his sister, recently told me that not only did he enlist, but he was underage when he did so and lied about his age so they'd let him in. He hates the military and it's pretty clear he regrets fighting in Vietnam (though he's never directly stated it), and I wonder if he's always lied because he's ashamed. He also left all of his medals and his uniform in the bathroom at the base, and skipped out on final formation. It wasn't until about 30 years later, and at my urging, that he finally asked the government for his medals.

As for PTSD, it's my understanding that when he got with my mom, which was... 15ish years after the war, he would still always sleep with his gun next to the bed, and regularly woke up thinking the Viet Cong were busting through the door. I don't know when those nightmares stopped, because he really doesn't like talking about them, and almost all of what I know is second-hand from my mom.

Straight out of the war, he married a woman whom he divorced 9 months after they met. He got a woman knocked up when he was 26 and walked out on them. He did enough coke in the 80s to burn a hole through is septum. My mom was a woman he was dealing to, got her knocked up, and married her a year after I was born because he concluded she was insane and he wanted to make it harder for her to run off with me. They hated each other. He choked her unconscious pretty regularly, but I don't really blame him. I'm surprised he never killed her. They split when I was 11, and haven't finalized the divorce in the 11 years since then. My dad now says he won't divorce her, so he can be in charge of her remains when she dies. He's going to dump her ashes into the toilet and shit on them. Yeah...

He was invited to join the Hell's Angels, and turned them down because he doesn't like riding with a group (take that as you will). He smokes a lot of pot. A LOT. He's self-destructive. He hates authority. He's picked me up by the throat a few times because I skipped school so often. He's always been very cold, and lashes out at those he loves. Back when I was born, my mom would always tell me that she didn't love me because I wasn't a boy. One day, my dad shoved his gun in her mouth and told her he'd blow her brains out if she ever again told me she didn't love me or wished I was a boy. I'm severely bipolar, but didn't get help until I was 19, and rarely admit I'm sick or cry, because my dad always would tell me to suck it up and get over it because he'd gotten over his problems (which was bullshit, and he didn't admit it until he was in his late 50s). He's broken, but he tries, he really does. I know all of this looks really bad, but I know he loves me, but he's so broken. That said, it's great that I hardly see him, because he's always wonderful when he knows he'll only see me for a few days and won't see me again for a few years probably.

And he considers veterans of Afghanistan and Iraq to be pussies and despises veterans that came out more messed up than him. He quit his PTSD counseling group because there were guys in there drinking themselves to death, who had molested their kids and blamed the war, that kind of shit, and he would start screaming at them. He got sick of being told to be quiet.

July 4th. Numb.

I've never been a big fan of holidays.

I don't really get into celebrations.

I don't care to wear the correct clothing per holiday: green on St. Pat's, US flag on the 4th, Xmas colors...
I just don't feel anything from it.

This made me come to the realization that I will not be that type of person that can engage in conversations about all the traditional stuff I was a part of in my youth.

That makes me feel numb.





On one hand, I don't feel bothered by that at all.


On the other, I completely enjoy observing the fun times. I would rather see people being in the moment.

I guess that is because I am aware of every single thing happening around me in a continuous manner. I think that people are constantly in a planning state of mind. One in which they can never be present. I am going with the flow. What happens in the next moment happens and I don't need any planning to get me there.

Don't get me wrong, I think ahead. I make mental notes, I check the time. I believe those things are important. It makes more sense to be in the moment. Your moment. This moment.

July 3rd

It was a long Tuesday.

I was forced to put up with someone at work throughout one of the longest shifts this week. It took all of my patience to pretend to smile, and laugh, and respond to everything that was said to me.

Autopilot is such a wonderful thing.

I had a couple good rounds on BF3 in the late afternoon. One round saw me flying really well in one of the heli's. 

A teammate and I dominated the majority of the map for quite some time. So much depth is added to the game play when you've got teammates that think alike.

Only a few more days until I find out if my job offer is still valid.

I interviewed at Vanderbilt in Nashville, TN about two weeks ago, and when I spoke to the RX manager I was told that several positions were put on a freeze by HR, mine being one of those swallowed up in the freeze. This next week I will find out if the freeze will continue to hold me down. I doubt it. I was told that my service was wanted at the hospital, and that several people I interacted with during my interview-tour enjoyed showing me the differences in their work and the work I currently am a part of at my hospital. I feel that the employees at Vanderbilt will be a rich group; they are people that find great pleasure and fulfillment in their occupation, and I cannot wait to be a part of that group.

July 2nd.

I worked in the IV room today with H. Lots of picking up slack.

She was ONLY 20 minutes late.  Not one word.

New girl came to help with some of the C2 prep. We did 200 syringes. Does not include Vanco.

I thought that K had to work at ten this morning and so I freaked out a little when it was getting close to nine forty-five and I still had not heard anything from her. This afternoon was incredibly hot. The car suffocated me while I left the parking lot.

I followed the usual routine of FB and Reddit as soon as I got home until it was time for TES: 3. Since finding out about the Overhaul, I have been in incredible imaginative worlds that spawn from all of the ideas I had about 3 before now. Before being able to play it. So much lore. So many characters. Named characters that are out to get me. Named caracters with back stories that attack on site without remorse. I wonder how Bethesda feels creating these wandering NPCs and their stories just to have the Player destroy them. Sucks you really only find out who these characters are by using the Wiki. Really the only type of system you can use to keep up with them all. Over how many games ?

Monday will be the defining day. Monday brings the newest update on my living situation. Will life begin on Monday? I wonder how quickly my mind set will update. New patches. Hopefully, the connection speed will remain stable and I'll be able to move on without any lag. This makes me excited for K, too. Her life will update soon after.

This brings up the Pink Floyd track: Another Brick in the Wall.
 My moniker of course.

 "Money get back / I'm all right, Jack / Keep your hands off my stack / New car / Caviar / Four star daydream / Think I'll buy me a football team."


She should get her car soon.
She should be able to head west soon.

This evening was spent with some spicy Thai food. A dinner which included my brother, D, and my good friend, R. I wonder if tomorrow will bring some hookah. Much needed relaxation after working, yet again, in the IV room with H. What fun.